I just woke up, and it's too early to stay up... when you went to bed a little less than six hours ago, but I wanted to get this dream out of me before it went away.
I dreamt that I had these crazy vampire teeth, but my canines were loose and in the process of falling out. I got the impression that it had been an ongoing and losing battle, in fact, it seemed like that was the case with most of my teeth. They were freely falling out, but some still had nerves barely tethering them in there. This time, however, my teeth came out and stayed out.
So I was taken to the dentist. I had to wait for quite a long time to get processed and spent a lot of time in the waiting room. I finally go in the back, and she's giving me all these bizarre extremely uncomfortable directions about how to sit. While she's talking, I watch the wall to my right begin to dissolve. I was on the phone with my boss telling him why I wasn't going to be at work today, and I hear gunshots through the dissolved wall. I watch a car speed by shooting in the direction of the dentist and myself. I tell my boss, “I think I'm in the middle of a driveby. Call the cops.” I hang up and watch the dentist run farther inside the building, disappearing completely.
I hear the gunners turn around and prepare for a second pass. I hope off of the chair and throw myself up against a wall, and this whole time the dentist's office was slowly dissolving into your standard alleyway. I'm pressed against the wall, and two of my friends, B and K are there, and the lesbian cop from Reno 911. The cars come around for a third pass, and I throw myself to the ground, and try to crawl closer to another part of the building, which turned out to be a house. I get hit by three bullets. One on each hand, and one in the side of my ribs, sort of like Jesus' wounds I suppose, though I don't know if that's the correlation.
So, I'm laying on the concrete in fake agony, when actually I'm thinking, “gunshot wounds don't hurt anywhere near as bad as I thought they would.” The cop comes over and starts assessing my wounds, and the cops show up right then. The Reno cop disappears, and I give the cops the story, starting with the dentist, ending with the description of the shooters and the car. The cops tell me to get to a hospital, and they'll get crackin'.
K and B tell me that they'll take me to a hospital... as soon as they get something to eat, because they're really hungry. Luckily, the house that we were huddled up against was really a mom and pop diner. We all go inside, and I sit in the little foyer style room, waiting for them to get their stupid food while I wait. I evaluate my injuries, and find that my hand's wounds look like minor bee stings, and my chest wound is gone entirely. I remember the lady cop telling me that she couldn't find my chest wound earlier.
I look up to check on K and B's progress, and I see that the cops are also eating at this diner, and so are the shooters. I pound on the glass to try and get B's attention, who's talking to the guy who seats you. B is ignoring me... the bastard. I start to go into a panic, and I'm not sure what to do. Just then the shooters are getting up to leave, and they walk into the foyer and see me pounding on the glass. The guy slaps me on the back and tells me not to take it so hard. It's hard to hear through that glass. Then he asks me some question I don't remember, but my response is that I shake his hand and say, “actually, I'm the guy you just shot.” He gets all wide eyed and him and his friend start booking it. I take off after them but they get in their car and drive away. I run inside and tell the cops that I just ran into my shooter, and they laugh and say, “and what kind of proof do we have of this? We just gotta take your word for it?” Then they laughed and told me to get a life, or something equivalent. I thought, “Son of a bitch. All I wanted was to get my teeth fixed.”
